Social Life?

It turns out that not having a social life is much more beneficial for my school life...who'da thunk it right? I am also discovering that not having a TV with DVR also works wonders. (Although, Netflix does cause a bit of a distraction, but I am endeavoring to keep my watch instantly viewing down to a minimum). I finished Beloved and I will say that I was actually happy with the ending of the book and I would recommend it to someone. I also finished Frankenstein last week...this one I would only recommend if you have someone to read it with and discuss it with. Tonight I just started Dracula and I am actually really interested in it... AND No, it has nothing to do with my previous insanity regarding Twilight. It is actually super creepy! I actually couldn't put it down tonight. I never would have thought Bram Stoker could be so chilling. ( not as frightening as say The Ring was...it is just creepy to imagine these things happening to you...

OK enough book recommendations: I lost four pounds this week..although I may have ruined that because I caved and bought an Oreo shake...two days in a row. I have all the excuses in the world. Mostly I was just feeling bad about life..blah blah blah blah. So tomorrow I AM GOING TO THE GYM when I get off work.  And I will do it with or without my ipod. Since this was the only excuse I was giving I will not use it anymore. The gym has a television and I am certain that I can find something useless to distract me for thirty minutes while I pound away at the elliptical machine. My goal is to go at least 3 times this week. Doctor wants me going five times a week, but I am starting with baby steps since I do have a paper to write about Frankenstein due this week...ok ok it is only a rough draft, but I am in serious mode...

Speaking of serious, I looked online at Grad School programs. Now I have to remember to breathe right here because when I look at all the requirements and then take into account all the application fees I tend to get a little light headed from hyperventilating. BUT I must prevail. I cannot let a little anxiety over tough circumstances scare me into idleness. So I will start with the basic: GET my GPA up. Not a lot of people know but I let some seriously stupid things get in the way of my success at school this last year. I let things slide and I got myself into trouble with school, but I am on the road to recovery and I am retaking classes and my GPA WILL improve :) I am not about to make that mistake again...It was a man that got in the way...let me rephrase a BOY. Holy moly,,,,NEVER again.  There is more to the story and perhaps I will write a little more about it but basically a male was at the heart of the matter and I made a huge mistake and I will not let that happen again. Anyway, I grow weary from all my ranting and I am going to indulge into some mindless Netflix watching since my homework is all done for tonight.

6 months

So in 6 Months to the day I am turning 30. This event is inciting a lot of emotion and anticipation. It is most especially inspiring a sort of motivation. The usual questions are surfacing and need answering. What have I done with my life? Where am I going? Where do I want to be in 5 years from now...10 years from now? All I know is that right now I am scared to death of where my life is headed. I am most determined to use these next SIX Months to get my life in order; so that when the big 4-0 hits I am not panicking as I am now. I am overweight and am just barely hitting my senior year in college. I am definitely not where I thought I would be when I was this age.

HOWEVER, life has taught me that things happen for a reason. There are paths we choose and paths that are on occassion chosen for us;either way we have a choice on how we perceive our own outcomes in life and the paths that have brought us there. I want to keep my perspective in order and embrace thirty instead of dread it. In an effort to streamline my thoughts and anxieties as well as my progress and setbacks towards bettering myself before that fateful day I have decided that I will create this blog. I don't know if anyone will ever read it and that is ok. I simply need to have an outlet for all the thoughts and emotions and sometimes, yes, even ideas that spring in to my head. To start off on my first post I am going to list my goals:

1. Lose 50 pounds by my birthday! This is totally doable. I have six months that is 48 pounds safely and since I always lose at a fast rate in the beginning I am going for the gold.

2. Get my GPA back where it used to be. My concentration and efforts need to be focused on bettering myself right now and part of that is focusing on school and not outside distractions.

3. Save money! For the future and for Europe. I promised my amazing and wonderful late grandmother that I would spend my thirtieth birthday in Paris. ALAS, I will be in my last term in school so I can't be there on my birthday, but I can be there during my 30th year. I think Grandma would be ok with that as long as I get there.

There are other goals, but these are the three most prevalent for the time being.