Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

So I am home for the holidays and I am having a great time. A few funny things have happened that I wanted to share so far:

1. Heidi and I were driving to Target yesterday to do some holiday shopping and she sped up in a parking lot intersection. This quick maneuver was in order to avoid a car...a car that was NOWHERE near us, I might add. Anyway, as this happened I was needless to say , a little starteld. Her reply to my reaction was, "Sorry, I don't drive very often." And my retort was, "Um, that doesn't make me feel any better." Needless to say, we had a good chuckle over it because it was kind of ridiculous.

  2.    These are things I have learned :

• My Brother in law loves I Carly and he is puzzled and in complete disbelief that I have never watched this show. I am giving him this one because he has children and I do not, but I thought his exclamative phrase, "I can't believe you have never seen I-Carly." Really Lyle? Really? lol
• Kaelyn does not like loud noises and this includes my loud laugh. When I laughed at her statement, "I don't like loud noises," she didn't like that either. I lovingly told her that she would get used to it and it be something she would grow to love in time...she is not sure she believes me.
• She also loves to receive books as gifts evn though her earlier declaration of "No I don't want books; I already have books," would lead one to believe otherwise. She loves the new book I gave her The Kiss That Missed. I have read it to her twice and her mother read it to her once in the last 24 hours. She keeps wanting to know why the kiss missed.
• Kaelyn has cute little nicknames for her little brother Rylan : Ry, Lids (short for the little one), The lid (after the same thing) seece, (we don't know where she gets that one), buhbuh, buhbuh hands.  (buh buh is for baby), and the Tinies (Tinys). She LOVES her little brother and it is so cute. But even so, she still manages to steal his toys because she doesn't understand that he doesn't quite understand the concept of sharing.
• Rylan IS old enough for toys, I had convinced myself otherwise and I must remedy this situation. Heidi and I might have to make one more dreaded stop to a store so I can purchase something for him.
• And Heidi doesn't like that I am blogging while she is making cookies for Santa with Kaelyn...so I guess I will stop here.

A friend I really admire

This is just a little props to one of my dearest friends, Stephanie Young. She is absolutely amazing. She impresses me to no end. In September, she packed up her life and moved to Scotland, just for the fun of it. I admire her bravery and her strength. I love that we talk on skype when I am up in the wee hours of the morning she is sometimes just waking up and swe often have briliant chats about life and hysterical awesome chats about Doctor Who and various other things. She has great insight and I really appreciate her advice. So props to you Steph! If you have time check out her adventures on the link above. She is an amazing photographer and blogs often about her Scottish adventures.

I totally stole this picture off your Facebook page Steph ;)

Christmas at Maxine's House

So, for those of you who don't know, I live with an 87 year old woman named Maxine, who just happens to be very artistic. I took some pictures of our living room to show you how creative she is. Her tree is actually called an "untree." At first I thought it was kind of weird, but I find that I think it is pretty cool. She is a creative lady and I am happy to be staying with her this year.

SHe made these little angels...and I just noticed that there is a cobweb I need to get down...please avert your eyes.

The Untree

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

I heard this song on the radio on my way home the other day and I have to say, I think this is a disturbing song and I really don't care for it. I tried to imagine how I would feel if I was little kid and I saw mymommy kissing another man...and I think it would leave me confused. In fact I think it would be a little traumatic if I believed in Santa. the whole idea of mommy kissing another man is frightening enough, but Santa; the man who is supposed to bring me gifts and treasures. Santa, the man I adored, would be seen as a lecherous womanizer who was taking my daddy's place. Ya I know...Santa is "daddy," but when you are five, you don't know that! All you know is that some fat man dressed in red, who is supposed to bring good will and happiness, is laying a big wet one on your mommy! Anyway, I just wanted to share my distaste for the song. I find it disturbing...and I especially hate it when The Jackson Five sing it...it makes it even more annoying. (this is not a slight against the group, as I usually enjoy listening to them...but I hate their version of this song...) 

Book Club

 

So Steph thought it would be fun to do a book club via blog and of course I agree. One book she has been wanting to read is Northanger Abbey, by Jane Austen. I read part of it during the summer and I have to read it for class this next term, so we thought what the heck! So grab a copy at your local library or check out this site to read it online http://www.online-literature.com/austen/northanger/ . It is an easy read and it will be fun to see what you all think about it. Enjoy!!

We are going to use books from my next term reading list to keep it all going :)

here are a couple of rules we are going by:

Rules:

1. Comment to let me know you'll be participating and make sure you provide a blog or other social media way of discussing the book.

2. Read the book

3. On Jan. 2 post your thoughts on the book and we'll commence with our discussion. I'm thinking best way is leaving comments on each person's entry. If you have any other ideas, please

Happy Birthday Jacob

Jacob is my surrogate little brother here in Oregon. I met him when he was just eleven when he came to stay with me and his sister Emily when she and I were roommates in Utah. He is 18 today and he is not my real brother, but I am proud to be his "sister from another mister" as we put it :) The kid is awesome. He is on the swimming team, runs track, sings in the top choir at school, and plays the clarinet in pep band! He does many many other things, but if he gets wind of this post he might be embarrassed Sooooo I will stop and just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACOB :)

These are a couple of his senior pics. He is a stud.

Just thinking

Well, I feel like writing. I don't know what I wanna say exactly so I will just ramble! Yay for you. my sleep is totally out of whack. I have been up until 530 in the morning every night this week. It is making me very tired during the day.There seems to be a pattern with me...and I think it is associated with my addictive nature and television shows that I can watch instantly on netflix! I tell myself that since I am crocheting Christmas presents that it is ok that I waste so much time watching television. BUT, I have ten or more books I would like to read this Christmas vacation...not to mention the other two my cousin Casey recommended that I went and checked out from the library. So basically, I am wondering why I am feeling so stressed about this when I am on break from school. As I am writing, I am processing...forgive me. I think that I need to not stress!! Yes excellent plan.I think that if I want to watch some tv it is ok...but now that I have finished the series I was watching, I think I will move on to my books.

I started a new one called Jane which is a modern version of Jane Eyre; I am on chapter five and I already think it is brilliant. I also have Love is a Mix Tape, by Rob Sheffield..Casey recommended it. I read a bit the other night when I got home from the library and I am really excited to finish it. I also have a book written by Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angels. I bought that one back in September. Amy finished it and says it is awesome...and I can't wait to read that one either! AND I also have Three Cups of Tea that I bought in September as well... SO there you have it! I have plenty of interesting reading material... I better get my butt moving...perhaps I should read instead of blog...hmmm

Dear Santa

So since I am unmarried and almost 30 I don't really have a "santa" to tell what I want for Christmas. I still have the true meaning of Christmas in my heart, but I still wouldn't mind a few awesome presents :) lol

1. Kitchen Aid Red and the big one...not the little one
2. A Nativity Set
3. Anne of Green Gables(movie)
4. Anne of Avonlea (movie)
5. A hardback copy of William Shakespeare's sonnets
6. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, hardback of course
7. A Winco gift card for groceries
8. Doctor Who apron from http://www.cafepress.com/
9. Doctor who bumper sticker that says "Bowties are Cool" from the same web page
10. Disappearing TARDIS mug http://www.bbcamerica.com/
11. A ticket to Paris or London...or Glasgow!
12. A Christmas Trimmings Candle
13. and 5 million dollars would be nice as well.

My Sister's Family

In a week from now I will get to go to Utah and visit my family. I get to see my sweet sister heidi and her adorable kids oh and my awesome brother in law :) I am so proud of my beautiful little sister. She is such a good mommy! And she makes beautiful kids!

Heidi, Kaelyn, Lyle, and Rylan

What a cute family!

It's ok if you are jealous :D

The true meaning of Christmas

So on Saturday I was helping Maxine decorate the house with Christmas decorations. She has probably five different nativity sets. I do not have any nativity sets... As I was setting them up I was overcome with tender feelings about the Savior. I thought it was such a simple thing, putting up nativity sets around the house, but it served as a wonderful reminder of why we celebrate Christmas. I try and keep that in mind as I buy and make presents for everyone. I get excited about giving people things and I know that is not a bad thing. But I hope that as we all get ready for Christmas that we take a moment to remember the reason we celebrate Christmas. I feel truly blessed to have a little reminder like the nativity to remind me what Christmas is all about. So this year keep Him in your thoughts, give to others and keep a spirit of kindness and love about you. Keep these thoughts with you now and througout the rest of the year too :) Merry Christmas everybody

Luke 19:10 For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost
http://lds.org/topic/christmas/

Don't Blow a Gasket! :) Surgery update

Ok I just had a phone call from Lani about my gastric bypass post. And I wanted to reassure all readers that I have decided to not do it. I can't see how closing off my real stomach and making a new fake stomach can be healthy. It is pure mutilation and it scares the crap out of me. And as it has been pointed out to me, when I do what I need to, ie Weight watchers, or just eat right and exercise, then the weight comes off. I have proved to myself that I have it in me to do what I need to do to get the weight off. So no worries everyone :) Starting this January I am going to start fresh and get moving and eating better. I know it is a little cliché to start in January, but it is too difficult to make a solid commitment in December, so while I am trying to cut back this month, I am still going to indulge a little. Thanks for your comments and support on the issue. I appreciate the feedback and I am grateful to know so many of you care about me!

Robin Hood the BBC Series **(Spoilers)**

So last night I finished the BBC series Robin Hood. Needless to say I am rather sad that it is over. Not only is the series jam packed with action, adventure, and justice; but it it is also jam packed with super hot British men!  Jonas Armstrong plays Robin Hood and he is super cute. Although he isn't my favorite,I do love him. We also have Richard Armitage...and he would probably qualify as my favorite. His character is Guy of Gisborne and he is a bad guy, being that he is the sherrif's right nad man. And even though he ends up murdering Marian at the end of the second season, he is still beautiful. He is also in North and South...not the civil war movie, but the British movie based on the same named novel by Elizabeth Gaskell (she is one of my favorite authors and if you are interested you can check out her works on the link and even read her literature online). In his other roles he plays a good guy and I strongly recommend seeing him in other roles. And let's not forget the beautiful Joe Armstrong, not related to Jonas and possibly more attractive! Joe plays the sometimes confused Alan A Dale; he is part of robin's band of Merry men, but he has a bit of a selfish streak. No matter, because whether he is fighting with Guy of Gisborne or fighting with Robin he is hot.  There is also Sam Troughton who plays Much, Robin Hood's right hand man and most loyal friend He is not the best looking of the bunch, but I do love him. He does have some beautiful eyes :) there is also Little John, played by Gordon Kennedy, Will Scarlet played by Harry Lloyd (he also plays in an episode of Doctor Who with David Tennant) and Djaq (Jac), Anjali Jay in the first and second season, but Will and Djaq leave because they are in love at the end of season 2. (Djaq is a girl fyi).

Jonas Armstrong

Richard Armitage

Joe Armstrong

Sam Troughton

Harry Lloyd

Gordon Kennedy

Anyway, why am I rambling you ask? Well, I got really attached to all the characters and now I am sad that there is no more to watch. They cancelled it at the end of the third season. Which is really ok, because the writers were a little bit ridiculous and took things a little too far in order to be edgy. But all in all, I will miss their exciting adventures. I recommend this show especially if you are all about fighting for what is right and hot British men! ( Little John isn't hot, but I can't leave him ouot cuz he is amazing).

Laundry

I just have to say that I am really grateful that you can't buy garments at walmart. Instead of going out to buy them when I run low, I am forced to do my laundry! Don't get me wrong, I am an advocate for doing laundry regularly, but with finals week and all the work I have been doing, I just haven't had time to do laundry. But when you have no clean underwear left, you are kind of forced to get to work. And that is all I have to say on the matter :)

Gastric Bypass Surgery

So here is a question I pose for you...If I am able to get benefits through workm should I get the surgery done? I am tired of being fat. I have a gazillion health problems because of my weight and I am tired all the time. I was reluctant at first because I didn't know anyone who had the aurgery and was successful at keeping it off. But lately, I have met a few 5 year plus people who have kept their weight down and I am considering doing it myself. I don't want to take the "easy" way out, necessarily, but I do need help. I can't do it on my own. Let me know what you think.

Screw you Dr. so and so

So I was just discussing with Stephanie that I have been a little gun shy about writing in the blog because I have had some harsh critiquing with my papers this last week. But you know what, I like to write. So screw  you Dr. so and so. I am not going to give up just because you don't like my style of writing. There are plenty of other people who do like it! SO there

Jingle All the Way

Well kids, Thanksgiving has happened and now the Christmas season is in full swing at my house. I can't decorate too much this year because I have moved and I only have the one room. But never fear people, I am constantly listening to Christmas music, lighting my Christmas candle, crocheting gifts, and watching festive movies to keep me in high spirits. I am even managing to get some of my homework done; although, given that it is dead week,  I don't really have the motivation anymore. I have a rough draft due on thursday, but I am waiting til the last possible moment. When December gets here I get a little ADD when it comes to school. ooooh is that something sparkly? Is that something plastered in the colors of red and green? Ooooh Christmas music...is that cinnamon I smell...oh my gosh I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!  I am going to celebrate it right now by making some delicious hot chocolate with a candycane melted inside. YUM!

Things I am Thankful for

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!! Despite my extreme excitement for Christmas, I feel I must give a nod to Thanksgiving. To me it is all part of the Holidays and it is a fantastic day to get together with people you love and share great food and good times with. This Thanksgiving I will be spending it with my Oregon family, The Earls. They are a great family and they are super hilarious, so naturally I fit right in. The Earl family tradition is to go to movies on Thanksgiving. I never really did this, but I do love me some movies... Anyway, we want to see Tangled. It is a new animated movie and it looks really exciting. Instead of waiting though, we are going to go see it tonight. And tomorrow we will get our cooking groove on.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I thought I would tell you all what I am thankful for in no particular order...when I get back from the movie....

1.Disney movies ( I just got back from seeing Tangled and it was soooo good) I loved the princess and the prince and everything about it! Fantastic job Disney! Way to be :)
2. I am thankful for heat. It is too fricking cold up here this week.
3. Good friends who love me no matter what kind of crazy I seem to be suffering from and stick with me anyway...you know who you are ;)
4. My niece and nephew. they are the cutest little kids and I love them!
5. My dad. He always listen to me when I am stressed.
6.Turkey and Pumpkin Pie
7. MASHED POTATOES (they are my fave so they get their own number).
8. My Sisters! Cuz they are ALWAYS  there for me...(no one watching us grow up would think that I would put them on here because we used to fight so much.
9.Anyone who reads my blog...that means you, various friends and family
10. My job, although, I wish I was teaching instead...or living in France like my dear Aunt Quay once did haha
11. An education
12. Maxine (she is the lady I live with...rent free)
13.Bollywood
14. The UK (Richard Armitage, Rupert Penry Jones, David Tennant, Mr. Tilney, Rupert Friend, Rupert Grint...you get the picture). Doctor Who, MI-5, and various period pieces.
15.oh and the Gospel! that one is pretty important.
16.that my car still runs.
17. Books
18.Music
19. and...netflix

Ok There are way more things I am grateful for, but I am getting a little sleepy...and that is code for "I am going to watch a movie on netflix now"

White Noise

NOT the movie :) It is a book written by Don DeLillo. I thought it was a fairly good read. It was interesting and completely random at times which I enjoyed. here is what it was about:

Jack Gladney is a renowned Hitler professor at an unnamed university at “the-college-on-the- hill” in the novel White Noise. His whole identity is mixed up between his role as this professor, consumerism, and the idea of death. His role as professor is so interwoven with the concept of Hitler that it has taken over part of his personality. Commercial goods are a huge part of his life and the idea of consumerism completely surrounds him. Commercials from the television and radio fill up his and his family’s life, enticing them and encouraging them to buy more products in order to be fulfilled. Death is an extremely important aspect of the novel. The whole idea of death terrifies him. When it comes time to confront any of these issues, Jack is left wondering where exactly the real him starts and ends.

It is definitely interesting. I am now currently readin The Road but I haven't quite finished it. I will post something once I have. If you want to read more about White Noise, I wrote a huge paper on it and would be more than happy to email it to you.

Procrastination is an ugly word

But it has been my main focus these last five days. I have a rough draft of a research paper due on Wednesday... that means I have maybe 30 hours to put together something that makes enough sense to send home with other classmates to edit; and I also have a midterm in the morning AND another class after that and then I have to work for five hours.  YAY! ok... so I probably shouldn't blog anymore but I just wanted to update that I am feeling great for the most part and my eye still has yet to twitch. go me! Wish me luck

Isn't it wonderful that Prozac is cheap?

As I sit here and mull over what is typically happy news, I am finding it hard to rejoice in the wonderful excitement that comes when a former friend becomes engaged. Ah...former is the key word. All I have to say is THANK GOODNESS that I filled my prescription and am medicated again cuz this news could really throw me for a loop. Trust me it is not envy that is motivating this emotional upheaval. I shouldn't even be surprised because I knew the moment they started dating that this was going to happen. And I won't stay sad long. Just because their relationship ended our friendship doesn't mean I need to bear any ill will toward them. But I am going to pause and take a moment to mourn a friendship that obviously wasn't very important in the first place and then I am going to wrap it up and put it in the trash because I am done with this. I will not allow any of this to interfere with my life and I will keep moving forward...just like in Meet the Robinsons!

I have been Crocheting

I never attempted a hat before and the first one turned out oo big, but this one turned out just right

And I have just discovered that my camera phone has horrible resolution. But I think the hat is pretty fun...that is my first time making a little flower too. Um can anyone say Beanies for Christmas presents??

A Confession

I have a confession... I love the show Doctor Who. This may not mean anything to any of you... unless you have met my little brother.  My little brother is very passionate about EVERYTHING he loves and in turn he wants everyone else to enjoy everything that he does JUST as much...and he will talk about it until you either find the same passion for it or instead DETEST it more than anything in the world. And since he is my little brother of course my natural reaction is to be annoyed with whatever comes out of his mouth (sorry Jeffie if you are reading this, but you know I love you anyways lol) Anyway, despite his admiration for the British series I thought he was just being silly and I ignored his wisdom..yes I said wisdom :) My friend Amy was telling me how wonderful and funny this program was and that not only was it funny but the doctor David Tennant plays is beautiful. So because I trusted my friend over my much younger sibling I decided to try it out on Netflix. AND I love IT! I think I want to be British just so I can be as clever as the Doctor.

SO you ask...what the heck is it about?? Well I will tell you, but be warned it sounds relatively cheesy. But it is fantastic! The Doctor is an Alien from a planet called Galifray...too much already right? To put it simply, he is a time traveller and the last of his kind. He travels in a TARDIS, which looks like a police box...and it is bigger on the inside than on the outside...hahaha...uh hem...anyway,  So in order to keep from being lonely he has companions that come with him and explore time and space. Inevitably though, wherever The Doctor lands, chaos ensues; some other alien race is always trying to take over another alien race...but most often the human race.  The Doctor seems to always show up and save humanity :) It seems a little contrived, but really the stories are quite brilliant and the dialogue is really well written. I recommend giving it a try. I started with the first season and I just finished season 5 last night. (Britain's seasons are shorter than American series). It is really quite ingenious in that they make it so that if the doctor ever dies he regenerates into a new doctor so the actors can move on from the series and be replaced...Although I have loved all three of the doctors that I have seen, David Tennant is my favorite. Jeff has a crush on Matt Smith though...but whatever ;)  Ok I am sure none of you know what I am talking about anymore. But really, if you are looking for some clever comedy check out Doctor Who.

What to do?

As I sit in my room this fine afternoon I am confronted with several options, all of which seem unappealing and leave me feeling restless. I have to finish Dracula  by Thursday. This presents a major problem because I have no desire, NONE whatsoever, to read the novel let a lone finish it. At first I was intrigued by the book but I got behind and went to class without actually reading some of the assigned readings and I am finding that I can get by without reading it. This could be bad news bears when it comes to midterm time. BUT it is beautiful outside and I want to go for a walk...but then I would be procrastinating and then there is that paper I have due on Wednesday that I am really worried about that I have started, but can't quite bring myself to get started on. And if I do anything besides these assignments I am just putting off the inevitable; Note that I say this as I am TYPING up my Blog...which is neither consequential or beneficial to the completion of any of the tasks I have afore mentioned. My day has gone somewhat like this : Rolled out of bed and managed to curl my hair, turned in my paper on Frankenstein,  then I went to class and we discussed postmodernism and the whole complicated theory of the self or lack thereof...very confusing... then I got a signature from my professor and proceeded to the registrar's office, Big Town Hero for a delicious sandwich that unfortunately had delicious mayonnaise, bacon, and avocado on it mmmm. I arrived home and managed to read 3 whole chapters of Dracula interspersed with facebook checks, popcorn munching, and even a bathroom break. Finally after receiving an invitation to my cousin Casey's baby shower in Arizona I gave up on homework and proceeded in purchasing baby clothes for his baby :) I love Internet shopping. And then I was distracted by the prospect of changing my profile picture. Ultimately I succumbed to the temptation to look at Steph's blog and catch up on her Scottish adventures. And even though I did not myself feel like blogging you can see that I did anyway. And here I am sitting at the computer wondering what I should do next... I think I will walk. At least my procrastination in that sense would be beneficial to my health right?

checking the oven beforehand

For those of you who don't know I live with an awesome 87 year old woman rent free in exchange for kind of taking care of a few things around the house for her and making sure she hasn't fallen down somewhere and been left for days. Well I just discovered a few things... I need to check the oven before I use it. I knew that she used to keep her cast iron pans in there, but since I have been actually using the oven to bake things in she has been putting those away in a different spot. So, naturally because of this I didn't check the oven. But when I opened it to put the bread I was making in I found four or five pancakes..yes pancakes... sitting on the oven rack. lol

The SECOND thing I learned was really valuable; because her oven is old it smokes a bit, I think it needs to be cleaned... anyway, the fire alarm went off; and it kept going off even after I stopped it and opened the doors and fanned the thing...Maxine never woke up (it was around 11pm when I did this) . She did come out of her room while I was fiddling with it, but it was to use the restroom and I asked her if I woke her up and she said she didn't hear a thing. THUS if there is EVER a fire, I will need to rescue Maxine! I probably would have checked on her anyway in the event of a fire, but it is good to know that it is a must.

Social Life?

It turns out that not having a social life is much more beneficial for my school life...who'da thunk it right? I am also discovering that not having a TV with DVR also works wonders. (Although, Netflix does cause a bit of a distraction, but I am endeavoring to keep my watch instantly viewing down to a minimum). I finished Beloved and I will say that I was actually happy with the ending of the book and I would recommend it to someone. I also finished Frankenstein last week...this one I would only recommend if you have someone to read it with and discuss it with. Tonight I just started Dracula and I am actually really interested in it... AND No, it has nothing to do with my previous insanity regarding Twilight. It is actually super creepy! I actually couldn't put it down tonight. I never would have thought Bram Stoker could be so chilling. ( not as frightening as say The Ring was...it is just creepy to imagine these things happening to you...

OK enough book recommendations: I lost four pounds this week..although I may have ruined that because I caved and bought an Oreo shake...two days in a row. I have all the excuses in the world. Mostly I was just feeling bad about life..blah blah blah blah. So tomorrow I AM GOING TO THE GYM when I get off work.  And I will do it with or without my ipod. Since this was the only excuse I was giving I will not use it anymore. The gym has a television and I am certain that I can find something useless to distract me for thirty minutes while I pound away at the elliptical machine. My goal is to go at least 3 times this week. Doctor wants me going five times a week, but I am starting with baby steps since I do have a paper to write about Frankenstein due this week...ok ok it is only a rough draft, but I am in serious mode...

Speaking of serious, I looked online at Grad School programs. Now I have to remember to breathe right here because when I look at all the requirements and then take into account all the application fees I tend to get a little light headed from hyperventilating. BUT I must prevail. I cannot let a little anxiety over tough circumstances scare me into idleness. So I will start with the basic: GET my GPA up. Not a lot of people know but I let some seriously stupid things get in the way of my success at school this last year. I let things slide and I got myself into trouble with school, but I am on the road to recovery and I am retaking classes and my GPA WILL improve :) I am not about to make that mistake again...It was a man that got in the way...let me rephrase a BOY. Holy moly,,,,NEVER again.  There is more to the story and perhaps I will write a little more about it but basically a male was at the heart of the matter and I made a huge mistake and I will not let that happen again. Anyway, I grow weary from all my ranting and I am going to indulge into some mindless Netflix watching since my homework is all done for tonight.

Postmodernism

So I am learning about Post Modernism right? Riiiiiight.... Ok The theory of Postmodernism is at best VERY VERY confusing. But I wanted to share the gist of what I learned in class on Wednesday. It has been brewing in my brain for a couple days now and I want to rattle on about it. The name Postmodernism gives is basically self explanatory...it is a movement that occurred/ is occuring AFTER Modernism... I don't really feel like explaining the whole history of  it, but basically there are a bunch of different eras literature and other medias of expression have gone through since basically forever and it  all affected what people did in order to express themselves in things like Literature and what not...it's kind of fascinating to me, but then again I am a LIT major lol. Anyway, I digress. Basically the whole movement is based on what some theorists (mostly French...go figure)  theorize about how we deal with becoming individual and creating the self ( how we put ourselves on the map so to speak)...haha I am laughing even as I type this because I am confusing myself. But these guys like Jameson, Lyotard, Baudrillard, and others who I can't remember at the moment all have an explanation and each explanation varies a bit. In fact they don't always agree with each other. BUT MY POINT IS that the whole idea of social networking, blogs, literature, art, and all other forms of expression are each different ways how we as individuals not only try and express ourselves, but how we try to be heard or to connect with one another.Connecting is a huge huge huge part of it. AND THEREFORE my blogging is part of how I as an individual am trying to put myself  "on the map" or trying to be heard and basically connect... And thus anyone who is reading my blog is a part of the post modern movement!  THE END

Beloved

So I am reading a book called "Beloved" for my post modern literature class. You might remember the release of a movie with the same name starring Oprah Winfrey...It was a movie I was never really interested in seeing because I was going through one of my phases when I didn't particularly think I cared for Oprah. Anyway, when I saw the book on the reading list I was a little disappointed because I remembered the movie got horrible reviews and I really wanted to read something that was not lame. NOW I am not recommending that anyone run out and purchase this novel, but I do have to say that the story is quite compelling and a quick run to the library to check it out might be recommended. I won't give you a full synopsis ( I am saving that for the paper I have to write in a few days), but I will tell you the basics. It is about an escaped slave. We all have heard about how horrible it was for slaves and I have always thought the whole idea was terrible of course, but reading this book really puts some of those things in a whole new light. Basically this slave woman has gone through some awful
things and

***spoiler alert***   
 in order to keep her children from having to return from slavery when she is about to be captures she attempts to kill all four of her children and actually succeeds in killing one of them. OK OK I know, why would I recommend such an atrocious book? Well I only recommend it if you are in the mood for something thought provoking and since I actually won't finish the book until probably Sunday then I recommend it cautiously. Since it is a post modern book there is a very very strong chance that the book won't have an ending that satisfies a need for happy endings. Another warning: The descriptions of life as a slave are incredibly graphic and are not recommended if you have a weak stomach.

Wow! After reading what I just wrote it doesn't seem like anyone would actually "want" to read the book. But it was on my mind and thus I rambled about it :)

My Ipod shuffle

Now I really don't love my ipod shuffle but I can't find mine anywhere. They are the goofiest little things every invented. Small can be great but they are easily lost. I hava a nano, donated to me from my little sis. But she neglected to give me a charger. So here I sit or rather rummage throught my room looking for something that most likely fell down between the numerous boxes I have shoved into various corners of my room. Which leads me to another topic...My room

So I keep having these urges to completely just get rid of anything I haven't used or worn in 6 months to a year. I think it would be quite refreshing and in the long run will help me have less to store whenever I do in fact decide to pack up and leave for Europe for a year... I think if I am single I may as well right? I think a satisfying flush out of all my belongings is definitely in order. When I arrived in this state I had only the things that I could fit into my tiny Dodge Neon...now, 3 years later, I have acquired atleast five or six times that. It is crazy. It is completely insane when one realizes how much stuff a person can accumulate in such a small amount of time. I most certainly need to downgrade on my crap that is crammed into this tiny one bedroom.

6 months

So in 6 Months to the day I am turning 30. This event is inciting a lot of emotion and anticipation. It is most especially inspiring a sort of motivation. The usual questions are surfacing and need answering. What have I done with my life? Where am I going? Where do I want to be in 5 years from now...10 years from now? All I know is that right now I am scared to death of where my life is headed. I am most determined to use these next SIX Months to get my life in order; so that when the big 4-0 hits I am not panicking as I am now. I am overweight and am just barely hitting my senior year in college. I am definitely not where I thought I would be when I was this age.

HOWEVER, life has taught me that things happen for a reason. There are paths we choose and paths that are on occassion chosen for us;either way we have a choice on how we perceive our own outcomes in life and the paths that have brought us there. I want to keep my perspective in order and embrace thirty instead of dread it. In an effort to streamline my thoughts and anxieties as well as my progress and setbacks towards bettering myself before that fateful day I have decided that I will create this blog. I don't know if anyone will ever read it and that is ok. I simply need to have an outlet for all the thoughts and emotions and sometimes, yes, even ideas that spring in to my head. To start off on my first post I am going to list my goals:

1. Lose 50 pounds by my birthday! This is totally doable. I have six months that is 48 pounds safely and since I always lose at a fast rate in the beginning I am going for the gold.

2. Get my GPA back where it used to be. My concentration and efforts need to be focused on bettering myself right now and part of that is focusing on school and not outside distractions.

3. Save money! For the future and for Europe. I promised my amazing and wonderful late grandmother that I would spend my thirtieth birthday in Paris. ALAS, I will be in my last term in school so I can't be there on my birthday, but I can be there during my 30th year. I think Grandma would be ok with that as long as I get there.

There are other goals, but these are the three most prevalent for the time being.